Uninvited Guest

3.5 x 5.5 inches

Towards the evening of my solo, I realized I had not eaten anything, so I began to make a fire. But as I was kindling the flame, I did not feel hungry, nor did I feel like eating for the fun of it. Earlier in the day I wandered from my hammock to a tree there, to an interesting rock over here, coming to understand what Frazier meant. I was restless from lack of purpose. And it led me to question the meals people structure for themselves everyday and often revolve their day around. This obviously is already an exhausted topic, but I never really thought about how it related to food. I think I mostly eat only because it is time to do so, never because I need it.

However I am so used to this meal schedule, that I made my craft mac and cheese anyway. When I finished the pasta, plus a giant mug of dandelion coffee, I continued to feed the fire and I sat reading by it's unsteady glow. The fire dimmed, and so did the sky. The cloud cover made it especially dark, and most likely amplified by my lack of company, I began to think irrationally. The fire made everything worse - I do not like having my back turned to the dark. So I kicked out the flame until there were only coals left. Now at least my surroundings were all equally dim, so relatively my back was not turned against the dark. This was somehow less terrifying.

I was washing my dishes in a stream, when I heard something rustle by my hammock. Then footsteps, and it did not sound like your ordinary squirrel, as loud as they can be. No, they were heavy and clumsy steps, I was imagining an injured deer. I had decided not to bring a flashlight so I could rely more on the natural coming and going of the sun, but now I didn't much of a way to see what was going on in my shelter. Suddenly I remembered a tea candle in my pocket.

From it's light I could see an outline of my tarp, but not much else. And then, I thought I saw the tarp move, accompanied by a definite creak of my hammock. I couldn't think of any animal that could possibly have interest in my shelter, especially with some still smoldering coals near by. By now, the injured deer I was imagining had turned into a ten foot carnivorous monster, and I started to freak a little. Having just read Into the Wild, an image of someone later piecing together my death came to mind, but I tried not to think about it. I yelled a really lame "hey" and I eventually heard it retreat back a couple steps, but no matter what I did, it wouldn't move any further back! And I still had no idea what it was. But it didn't seem threatening so I climbed into my hammock anyway. Didn't really sleep that night (but honestly not because of whatever was hanging out with me, I just couldn't sleep).

Eventually I think I slept for an hour or two, because I woke up to see the trees lightening, and by then I'd forgotten about the visitor. But when I got out from under my tent, I heard something run by through the pines. It was just a stray dog.