May 26th: Nature as a Teacher

May 28th

As the intensive enters its final stretch, I feel myself and my mind slowly transitioning from the critical thinking and analytical student into a unruly and grass stained teenager who is eager to spend his newfound freedom outdoors. Traditionally, the end of school marks the time when us young adults can relax and take off the masks we force ourselves to wear every day from 8:00 to 3:30. Summer represents opportunity; opportunity to catch our breath, soak in the sun, roll down the windows, and spend time with our friends and family. Summer has been the one constant that every young person understands and values in their lives yet it seems this notoriously reliable experience is dampened this year. It is hard to be excited for summer when one realizes the last time they saw their schoolmates was before spring break, unaware of the impending isolation. It is hard to feel pride or satisfaction without the struggle of final projects during the last few weeks of school. It is hard to accept the summer when school ends during such an unexpected series of events. While we endure the shadow cast by unexpected and irreversible large-scale change, it is important that we remain hopeful and truly learn and utilize Thoreau’s “infinite expectation of the dawn”.

The darkness inflicted by the COVID-19 cannot penetrate the natural world. For the past few weeks we have been studying famous American writers and absorbing their interpretations of how nature can be our greatest ally in the war against our own, and mankind’s, demons. As we all face changing circumstances, it is hard not to feel afraid and anxious but this intensive has taught me that through nature we can all loosen our manmade addiction to control and comfort, the enemies of change. Only when we do this can we adapt.

Returning from my solo several days ago, one of the firs things I checked on was the bluebird nest outside my bedroom window. Anyone who read my previous journal about them knows they are a source of fascination and appreciation that I enjoy having in my life. When I left, the chicks were at most five days old and had not even opened their eyes yet. Their dark and bald bodies were only partially covered with sparse clumps of small white undercoat. All five chicks silently huddled on top of each other in the nest before becoming an explosion of eager chirps and bright yellow mouths whenever their parents came to feed them. This is the world I left behind.

Upon returning, I was happy to see that all five chicks remained although their growth had made them almost unrecognizable. Their dark and unwavering eyes stared at me as I approached the window but none of them cried for their parents. Their newfound independence was startling to me at first but it suited their now much larger bodies. No longer did they possess large bare patches of dark skin but instead were covered head to toe in thick, fluffy coats of white feathers. I observed for a few minutes before leaving.

When I retuned time had only progressed 2-3 hours. My jaw dropped as my previously crowded nesting box was now completely void of the feathery younglings. In seemingly no time at all every single chick had matured, developed, and disappeared. I wondered what caused the birds to leave their nest and subject themselves to the unknown terrors of my backyard at such a young age. Pure instinct is not a satisfying answer and thus I always imagined the first bird to leave. Standing at the edge of the box, eyes peering down into the straw-laden garden below. What eventually caused it to jump? Part of me knows that the bird’s motives do not matter and that the bird likely will hit the ground and scramble for cover all the same.

Like the bird, we are at a time in our lives when we must look out into the foggy mist of uncertainty and take a leap of faith. While society scrambles to respond to life on lockdown, we must persevere through adversity and self-doubt. Nature provides us the best examples of perseverance in existence and I take it as no coincidence that five of these examples started their lives right outside my bedroom window. The most important lesson this intensive has taught me is that while nature at its core is wild and incomprehensible, it can always teach us how to handle our hardships in life because after all, we are part of nature ourselves.