First Day Out

“I am back outside again… Some crap happened and it really pissed me off, but staring into the cracking fire really calms me down. The sunset is really vibrant red and white as it creeps behind the darkening tree line. It gives the woods a completely different feel, it’s weird, but I swear I can see and hear better, sense things better. I can feel my heart beating angrily in my chest; it contrasts the calm rhythmic chirping of the crickets and frogs. The fire is almost completely out now, it has been burning for hours, yet the heat dissipates so easily, I’m getting cold, maybe I should go walk, or maybe just go inside? No, I’m still angry, I can’t go inside yet. The sun is halfway set now, the woods will soon be dark but right now, they bask in the dim orange glow of the setting sun. I can feel myself calming down with the sun’s departure. I’m still so mad, I feel betrayed. I can still hear cars and trucks on the roads despite being in the deep forest. Why can I hear them, how can they still get to me? The fire is out now, I’m going inside. I’m less pissed.” Going outside lets me reflect on my thoughts more clearly. The natural world, my woods, helps me to calm down and find a center of peace. I am able to set social media and electronics (except for music) aside and focus on my surroundings. It’s almost like when I surround myself with the familiar woods I can finally stop taking in new information and think about what’s on my mind. Staring into the fire itself is not what helps me relax, sure it is relaxing in itself to just stare at the fire, but it allows me to reflect and tussle with what’s bothering me. When I’m in the wilderness it feels like a one on one conversation with myself. What do I really want to do out here to make me happy, no not happy, but satisfied with myself? The stillness of the wilderness helps me find a focal point, one thing I can focus my eyes on and let my thoughts run. I went outside to escape my troubles only to realize nature isn’t the place to hide from your thoughts, but a place to reflect and understand what you truly need. I find that when I’m outside, I can really slow down and think more clearly, I do not feel as if I’m in a rush like I normally do. It feels like there’s more time to do what I need to do but I think it’s just that your necessities outside shrink. Going throughout our normal days we think we need our entertainment or material objects and such because that’s what we have grown accustomed to, but when we're outside we realize we really just need to make a fire and build a shelter before it gets dark, and for that reason, it feels like there’s more time in the day. The reality is that we’re actually just slowing down and understanding what we actually need to get through the day.